The problem with judging debates is that since the nation is so polarized, we have developed a rather acute case of selective hearing.

However, that’s not the biggest problem with judging debates: it’s the multiple levels of judging. You gotta look good. You gotta speak good. You gotta attack on just the right level, not to harsh, not too soft. If you win, but don’t win enough, you lose according to some people. If you do better, but appeal to the wrong demographic, you lose. You gotta be consistent. You gotta say not the same thing over and over. You gotta convince the pundits after the debate is over.

TOO MUCH INFORMATION! IT’S TOO MUCH TO BE USEFUL! There’s so many subjective levels that you can’t get an objective reading.

Luckily, I’m here to simplify it for you.

I present to you, my simple test, which I like to call “The Lie Factor.”

It is as such: Whoever told the most convincing lies is the winner.

Note: I use the word “most” both in the sense of quality and quantity.

The brilliance of the lie factor is that you can do further analysis, and judge on the spot at the same time. You see who convinced you the most, and then it can be confirmed by the lie count. The common people, and the pundits can be happy.

Presidents are human and therefore fallible. However, we cannot let a leader be so. It is American nature to deify our heroes. Thus, whoever can convince us that he is invincible is the most invincible! Whoever can best mislead you is the most qualified to lead this country! You will feel safer, more placated, and happier. America is never wrong!