Great news today as Afghanistan holds its first democratic election in forever.

One woman (yes, a woman, did you hear that, WOMAN) voter was ecstatic, “Finally, we get to vote for the person the US wants us to vote for.”

The election was not free from controversy, however. All fifteen of the opposing candidates, including one woman (yes, a WOMAN ran for office), signed a petition declaring that they would not accept the results of the election. When asked why, one of the candidates replied, “Because we are evil TalibaNazis and we knew we had no chance of winning. I mean, we had to do something.” He later added, “Oh, and we so called TalibaNazi — nobody else can use that name.”

The election was also marred by accusations of fraud. Voters registered to vote multiple times, and although there was a fingerprinting system in place, some polling places used incorrect ink, which could be rubbed off.

“I don’t understand what the problem is with multiple voting. We’ve been without democracy for forever. We just really want to vote,” said one voter, while filling out multiple ballots.