Jewish protests over cartoons in the Muslim world turned deadly today, as American troops were forced to fire upon the protesters, killing four. The Bush administration refused to comment on the incident, prompting further protest.

The protests occured after an Iranian newspaper held a Holocaust cartoon contest in response to the publishing of 12 comics in a Danish newspaper. They hoped to offend the sensibilities of the West, and they got precisely the response they wanted.

Instantly, Jews across America rioted. They firebombed the Iranian embassy, as well as some other countries’ embassies, including the Australian embassy, which they mistook for Kazakhstan’s embassy. Then, they realized that Kazakhstan didn’t publish any cartoons, but they justified their actions by pointing out that the Kazakhstan government didn’t apologize for the comics published in Iran.

European countries instantly condemned the publishing of the cartoon strips. “We were so wrong to publish the cartoons satirizing the Prophet Muhammed. Now, we realize the error of freedom of speech. From now on, freedom of speech will be banned. Also, all women will wear burkhas and not be allowed to learn how to read,” said Jacques Chirac, president of France.

After watching all of this on CNN, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sounded triumphant, “Now we see the hypocrisy of the West. I’m gonna go finish my atomic bomb now and wipe Israel off the map.”

[Note: This is satire.]

[EDIT: Fixed spelling error.]