Senate Passes Legislation to Give Away 6 States

In case you haven’t heard, the Senate recently passed a bill that gave away California, Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, and Utah to Mexico. Of course, the xenophobes are mad as hell, but this is obviously the best solution.

You should learn a little history, xenophobes. These territories were stolen by the United States because we won the Mexican-American War back in the 1800’s. We’ve been taking part in an illegal occupation as bad as the Jewish occupation of Israel. We don’t belong there.

You see, none of these people are illegal immigrants… they’re just returning to their homeland! The xenophobes complain that these people don’t want to learn English or anything. Of course they don’t! They’re still in Mexico!

Believe me, folks. People aren’t here to follow the American Dream. That’s why they were waving so many Mexican flags at their protests. That’s why this group of protesters decided to fly the American flag upside down. That’s why they don’t show any respect for American laws by crossing the border illegally. They’re not all here to support the economy by performing low-paying jobs. Some of them support the informal sector, by dealing drugs. Some of them form boys organizations — also known as gangs. Some of them make up the backbone of our prison system — according to Michael Savage, they are up to 29% of our inmates.

Look, we’re never going to stop the flood of immigrants. There are already millions of illegals in the US. They’re just going to keep coming until the states essentially become provinces of Mexico anyway. That’s why it’s best just to give away our states now to Mexico. Of course, since it’s unfair to Mexico to pay for the infrastructure of all this, American tax dollars will still go to support all the hospitals and schools in the former occupied states.

C’mon you xenophobes. What’s your problem? Obviously, if you give a damn about Mexico stealing stars from our flag, you are a racist.

[Note: This is satire. The Senate has not yet passed legislation that would give any states to Mexico.]