The Absurd Impulse

The absurd impulse allows me to continue. The pessimist sees the meaningless universe and despairs. If I succeed, he says, it means nothing.

But what keeps me going when it gets so dark, so unbearable, is the fact that if I fail, it means nothing. This will sound less poetic, but when you leap from swinging vine to swinging vine in a video game, you do not fear death or failure. If you die, you try again. While life may not provide a similar opportunity, at least you know that you can disregard your failure. There is nothing to fear.

When Sisyphus sees that rock tumble back down the mountain, he is happy. The reason the rock fell in the first place is because of human sweat, muscle, and decision. Success or failure, it does not matter. They are both the result of human effort. In the end, that is all that matters.

If the universe ends, and all is for naught, we know that at least we existed. At least we did something. Even if know one else knows, I at least felt myself exist.

Even if our sandcastles are consumed by the sea, we continue to build. And even when that last sandcastle is gone, I do not feel fear. I do not fear the world crumbling down around me. Success or failure, either way I lived. I built.

So the world may bring its worst, but I take solace in the fact that in the end, it means nothing. I lived despite it all. That is our absurd triumph.