Today’s meditation session wasn’t great. My mind was racing. Sometimes I would take a breath and it would interrupt my thought with emptiness. That felt good.
By the end, I hadn’t achieved the state that I would like, but I did feel really calm. I felt equanimity, which was good, and something I haven’t felt in a long time. I have been craving. And I had been leaning toward a philosophy of constant craving and goal-setting and ambition. I don’t outright reject the latter two, but after feeling equanimity… Hell, it’s a lot better than craving. It may even be more productive, but I’m not sure. Sometimes I write great things when I’m filled with emotion.
Okay, I guess I don’t have to choose to live completely one way or the other. In any case, it would be good to cultivate this equanimity. It feels good to switch things off without distracting one’s self with television. (Note: I still love television.)
Beautiful post.
And yes: you must continue to love your television… but you must also nurture your (new?) love of hiking, and the solitude of the natural spaces outside.
Equanimity is indeed the answer I long ago sought and, to one extent or another, found. (Extra credit tip: one has to find it over and over again, I found. ::chuckle:: But with time and aging, the process — once emergent — becomes merely repetitive, if vital, like breathing.)
Have written about it on my weblog now and then. Here are several that you may or may not have read:
“a classic wipeout” — http://l.editthispage.com/2003/04/22
“i, pendulum” — http://l.editthispage.com/2003/05/18
“intonations, inflections, interventions” — http://l.editthispage.com/2005/05/23
“friday’s febrile freewrite” — http://l.editthispage.com/2006/04/07
“department of infernal medicine” — http://l.editthispage.com/2007/08/15
Oh and btw, I absolutely love today’s TCM! Subject a coincidence? I think not. ;-)