Work eats up so much time. Then, after the commute I have to spend time unwinding and then eating. I get very few hours to do anything after this. If I see my friends, then that entire evening is gone. If I work on my comic, most of the evening is gone. In fact, I’ve begun drawing during my lunch break because I simply can’t make enough time to do the comic and see my friends. These past few weekends, I’ve been gone from the house completely. While I regret none of this (I had a fantastic time), I do find it frustrating that I don’t have time to do the things I want to do.
What are these things I want to do? One: Quiet reflection time. I need to continue this introspection, but I need a serious block of uninterrupted time to do it. Yes, I’ve started a bit now, but it’s late and I have to wake up early, which weighs heavily on my mind and doesn’t allow me to write freely. I should’ve had time today, but I just watched TV and then worked on my comic. I also had to backup my laptop because I imagine it will die by the end of next month. I have to buy myself a new one. Agh. Two: Reading. I didn’t finish one book during the month of December. Okay, I did manage to half-read several books. Still, being a voracious reader who delves into disparate topics is something I want to part of my identity. I need to spend time reading actual books and not just clips on the internet. Three: Making a website for my friend’s company. I want to use a weekend for this, but I keep having things to do. I was gone the past two weekends, busy the ones before that, and I’ll be gone a week from now. Maybe this weekend I’ll have some time — of course, my friend’s birthday thing is Saturday, so that’ll suck up time again. During the weekdays, I spend all day at work in front of the computer, so I don’t really feel like doing any web design after I’m off the clock.
It sounds like I’m complaining. I guess I am. I don’t want anyone to think that I begrudge all the time I spend with friends or even with the television. It’s just really difficult finding a balance.
I’m not sure what to think about work. I don’t particularly enjoy everything I’m doing. Programming isn’t too bad, though. I’m not overly-stressed. It’s also respectable, so it sounds good when I tell other people, and I’m making okay money. I still want to find something more exciting, though.