I’m in two fantasy football leagues this year. Here are my team names:

1) The BART Police

I wanted something that said ruthless, that said I’d shoot you in the back of the head even if you were unarmed.

2) Hedonic Treadmills

Our motto is this: Win or lose, we revert to the same baseline level of happiness.

Rejected team name: Teacher, Can I use the Iupati?