Monthly Archives: October 2012


Now that I have strained groin (and went through a pulled stomach muscle a few years ago), I feel like I can better identify with NFL players. Except instead of playing through intense pain, I sit in bed and surf the internet on my iPad.

USC Football

Bored, so typing out hypotheticals…

Best case scenario for USC:

USC wins out. Beats Oregon. Crushes an unbeaten Notre Dame. After the Beavers nip the Ducks, USC beats OSU in the Pac 12 Championship.

Florida is upset by Georgia. But the Gators still win the SEC East. Then, they’re upset by FSU. They face an unbeaten Bama and manage to eke out a win after forcing 4 turnovers.

KSU wins out.

USC is ahead of FSU based on strength of schedule (having taken out 1-loss Notre Dame, 1-loss Oregon, and 1-loss Oregon state). The humans also vote them ahead of Alabama after that clunker in the SEC championship game.

The championship is set. USC vs. KSU.

USC crushes an overrated KSU team, as Heisman winner Matt Barkley breaks his own record and throws for 7 TDs.

The SEC cries because they’re left out of the championship game, forever whining about how that would never happen to an SEC defense.

Matt Barkley goes first overall in the draft and has a better NFL career than Andrew Luck.

Worst case scenario:

Texas Tech upsets Kansas State.

USC loses to Arizona while looking ahead to the Ducks. Then Oregon comes to town and shuts out Matt Barkley and the rest of the offense, 49-0.

USC then loses to Notre Dame when the Irish nail a last second 51-yard field goal.

Oregon loses to Oregon State, which goes on to defeat Pac 12 South champion Arizona State.

There are 3 undefeated teams left: Alabama, Oregon State, and Notre Dame. The human voters hate Oregon State, so unbeaten Notre Dame climbs to #2 in the BCS rankings.

Manti Te’o wins the Heisman.

Notre Dame faces Alabama and wins 7-6 after Alabama misses a last second field goal.

Notre Dame wins the BCS Championship and goes into the preseason ranked #1.

Matt Barkley falls like Jimmy Clausen on draft day, but still manages to get drafted by the Browns. He is third on the depth chart after Colt McCoy.