Americans are the real villains in Iraq. What right did we have to invade a foreign country and stop a legitimate dictator from filling more mass graves?
It’s just not funny.
Just downloaded Opera 8. Don’t know yet if I like it better. However, I have high hopes for the Voice options.
Just finished reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell. It is so awesome.
I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. I scheduled it last week. That was the only time they had open! Hooray for HMO’s!
I was perusing the Adult Swim message boards, and I came upon this: “Minori-Team: A team of superheroes, composed exclusively of members of minority groups, joins forces to fight against discrimination. Jewcano, Fasto, Dr. Wang, El Jeffe and Quickstop use the power of racial stereotypes to right societal wrongs, one slur at a time. This pilot will air in October and was created by Alex de la Pena, Todd Peters and Peter Gerardi.”
Awesome. I hope this works. I’ve actually had that same kind of idea floating in my head for years, only I planned it as a comic. (I don’t have the budget for a TV show.) Of course, I didn’t call it that title. I had something like “The Multi-Ethnic League of Superheroes”. However, I could never carry the plan to fruition and figured it wouldn’t be worth a whole strip, especially since I can’t draw. I think I was planning a storyarc in TPV at one point, but I’ve since ended TPV. I was also planning a BOTBC comic, but once again, I have no artistic ability. Then, I thought about Majestic, but realized there isn’t enough racial diversity among Lego’s.
I’m reminded of when my cousin and I were looking through a Lego magazine and we both said, “Oooh, Lego Chinese people!” And I also think of somewhere along the line where I piped in, “The first Lego black people are basketball players and Lando Calrissian.”
In other news, Colin has informed me that there is a new movie in the works entitled “Johnny Bravo”. And guess who’s going to be in it? The Rock! That’s right. I have to see this one.
Wow! The Virgin Mary appears! People of faith rejoice! This freaking water stain is proof that the new pope will be a really cool guy.
Oh geeze. Why are people so dumb? That’s our brain looking for patterns… a pleasant byproduct not unlike seeing images in clouds (or the devil’s face in smoke). How can you flock to this? How can you pray to this? AND YOU WONDER WHY ATHEISTS MOCK RELIGION? All you have to do is change your angle and it doesn’t even look like anything.
“Delgado said she had been praying to the Virgin Mary to help her pass a final in culinary school when she saw the image.” You know, maybe it might help you better if instead of praying, you were studying? Hm?
“A Canadian woman also said she saw the Blessed Mother and baby Jesus on a Lay’s Smokey Bacon Chip.” Behold the Almighty’s power! He can make images appear on potato chips!
“That’s the image that’s portrayed in the Bible. Many miracles have happened, but this is one that just appeared.” I dunno, for me, a miracle is little more miraculous…. And besides, lady, my Bible don’t got any pictures in it. (Unless you consider maps to be pictures.)
I can’t recall a time when acting on a random whim has ever worked for me. Perhaps I should play life more like how I play poker.
Although I lean a bit towards the right, I am extremely against the so-called nuclear option. The filibuster is an important part of democracy and tradition. We need it to protect our republic against things like civil rights legislation.
I was feeling particularly masochistic today (probably because of my sour mood), so I decided to sit through the premier of The Lance Krall Show. Sketch comedy is in such a pathetic state.
I don’t know how this got on air. What focus group found this funny? And no, Mr. Krall, your group of friends does not count as a focus group. My guess, actually, is that he’s some kind of relative of some higher-management-uppity-up-muckity-muck at SpikeTV. How else would such juvenile crap get on air? I mean, this isn’t the internet, where you can post some random webcomic. This was webcomic quality stuff on television.
What do I mean by webcomic quality stuff? I mean, the reason most people post webcomics. It’s just stuff their friends find funny. And that’s the case with the show. Case in point, the prank phone call sketch. Yes, they really had themselves doing a prank phone call on the TV show. That’s so frickin’ mature. I’m sure it must’ve been funny at the time, but the rest of us, the viewers at home, the ones who matter, we’re not amused.
It could be funny. You see some stuff that could be jokes. But the set-ups and executions are so off, it just doesn’t work. It seemed like they were taking one-line ideas and going, “Let’s make a sketch about someone doing this.” “Yeah, that sounds funny.” And that was the extent of the development of the idea. Improvise the idea for the sketch as you go along, bam, there’s the idea, no need to actually try to make it funny, no need for tweaking or refinement, then just film.
Or maybe I’m giving it too much credit. The humor was juvenile to begin with. Stinky smell, bathroom scene. Girl coming. Maybe that’s funny in real life in retelling, and maybe it could be funny on TV, but it just was not pulled off. Like I said, they probably just sat in a circle, patting each other on the back with their funny idea, but didn’t put any thought into the actual execution.
It got even more mature at the end of the show. So, Mr. Krall is attempting humor at reading e-mails on the first episode. Which he has the gall to explain. “It’s funny because it’s the first episode and I couldn’t have received any e-mails yet. That’s the joke.” FUCK! If you having to explain the fucking joke, it’s not funny! And interspersed into him trying to read this fake e-mail, are his friends interrupting him. Another tip: Breaking the fourth wall does not save a crappy joke. Then, to top it off, he gets in a fight. Wow, that’s real mature.
Another sketch that was done was a parody of Punk’d. Now, I’ve definitely had this idea before to do a parody of a candid camera type show. (I must give him at least credit for not letting the sketch run on too long… pulling an SNL, so to speak.) However, parody for parody’s sake is not funny. If there’s any faux-comedic technique that pisses me off more than anything else, it’s parody for parody’s sake. Once more, an okay idea that was ruined by execution.
Anyone with a budget like his, and marginal video editing talent, could make a show just like his. Unless you’re feeling masochistic like me, don’t watch the show, okay.
SCHIZO KILLER: Since you’ve decided to become an instant messenger addict, I think I should teach you about “profiles”
foley2012: im not addicted yet but ok
SCHIZO KILLER: you go into that menu that says “My AIM” and then click “Edit Profile…”
SCHIZO KILLER: and then you can write something humorous so that everyone will think that you are cool
foley2012: i want to be cool so bad
foley2012: so very very bad
foley2012: im trying to think of something hilarious
foley2012: and inciteful
foley2012: and inspiring
foley2012: and profound
foley2012: all at the same time
SCHIZO KILLER: I think if you found something like that, the universe would explode
you must think im cool because you are looking at my profile right now. im glad that you think im cool because i am. i am so cool. you probably are reading this because you want to be as cool as me. not very many people are. however, im used to conversing with people that are not as cool as me, so i wont be disappointed if you want to talk to me.
Later that day
SCHIZO KILLER: I am impressed by your profile. You are so cool… I want to have sex with you and touch your boobies.
foley2012: thank u only a few people are as cool as myself u should feel proud to speak to me
Other AIM Hilarity
WeirdJosh: oh gross
WeirdJosh: I have hair stuck to the bottom of my foot >_<
WeirdJosh: and it looks like it’s been glued there for a while
SCHIZO KILLER: ew
SCHIZO KILLER: glued?
WeirdJosh: by what seems like it could be melted dead skin, or deoderant, or something
SCHIZO KILLER: UUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH NASTY!
WeirdJosh: fucking grody
WeirdJosh: ugh, gross
WeirdJosh: I think it *WAS* dead skin
SCHIZO KILLER: now that you’re in my weblog, it means you’re famous
foley2012: im a superstar
I have a post-it note on my computer monitor that says, “I think in Post-It notes”.
Shannon: “We should listen to some poker music.”
Currently reading the little “25 Years Ago” box in Technology Review. We humans sure have grandiose views of the future that never are realized. I think it’d be interested to make some trips to the library and read some old magazines — look at how we think the future will turn out, and how it really does.
Is life a zero-sum game? Can one person win without another losing? Does there have to be people at the bottom of the pyramid to have people at the top? Can people be equal? Are people equal? Can there be synergy? Does one person always gain at the expense of another? Are the resources in life limited? Is there anything infinite? Is love really infinite? Can you give without losing? Is there always equivalent exchange? Is there always balance? Is there karma? Is there an ultimate judge? Are we our own judges? Is there even an answer? Is there even a question? The answer is that there is no question. Or so, I keep saying to myself.
contemplating making a listlog for the New Orleans trip… will decide tomorrow
From my sister…
Shannon: “I decided I’m not going to major in art anymore. I’m going to be a professional cellist.”
Me: “Haha. You can be the next Yo Yo Ma.”
Shannon: “I’ll be Yo Yo Shannon.”
The answer is that there is no question.
Yeah, I decided that should be my new life philosophy. I don’t really fully comprehend, understand, or accept it, myself. But for some reason, it seems to make sense, and seems like it holds a deeper truth.
No updates for a while because I will be in New Orleans.
I’ve recently been hearing commercials attacking Schwarzenneger for slashing the school budget by $2 billion. And I thought, wait a second… that figure seems familiar… where have I heard it before? Note that this was all the way back in January.
Oh well, we know that they’re all right anyway. Because we know that every one of those 2 billion dollars would’ve gone to books and smaller class sizes, right?
I’m reading the Bible while listening to The Beatles. Woah.
[Reading for Bible as Literature class. In case you’re wondering, I’m reading Ecclesiastes, and the album is Abbey Road.]
- UC Berkeley
- UC etc.
- Carnegie Mellon
- Johns Hopkins
I was hoping for Yale, but oh well, I’ll roll with it. You gotta play with the cards you’re dealt with. So, here’s my top choices: UC Berkeley, USC, or Carnegie Mellon. I’m considering USC because I got a half-tuition scholarship.
Wow, I had so much fun. I did something almost everyday. The days I missed — first day of spring break (because I had USC stuff to fill out) and the last day (today because of homework I’m avoiding right now). I’ve a bad memory, so forgive me if things are wrong.
- seeing my niece, nephew, and sister-in-law
- missing my nap to go cruising to Chris’s, Ian’s, Richard’s, and Ryan’s house multiple times without jamming
- finally getting to jam with Richard, Chris, Ryan, Ian, and Craig at Ian’s house, after seeing some weird guy show up who definitely did not look like he wanted to deliver a chair
- getting free hot and sour soup at Lite Wok with Ryan
- Poker night, reading Andrew like he’s my bitch, but still losing to his pockets
- watching The Apprentice and not running away to leave my sister to turn the TV off because of the premier of The Office
- hearing Chris, Richard, and Craig serenade me over the telephone with “A Thousand Miles” on vibraphone
- Wenschel, Craig, and Chris hanging out at my house
- starting to learn “If I Ain’t Got You” on piano
- eating, with Chris and Craig, where all the cool people eat — IHOP
- seeing random Moreau people (Trevor) at IHOP… goddamnit, can’t avoid them
- Chris’s concoction of strawberry syrup and maple syrup that looked so gross
- seeing The Ring Two with Richard, Chris, and Craig… “what’s scary about this movie is how I wasted 9 bucks”
- laughing out loud at the deer part… I felt like a jerk, but I couldn’t help it
- hearing some random person say “kodiak moment” and correcting them: “It’s Kodak”
- talking about the next Ring movie… The Ring 3D
- Dinner with Chris, Craig, Richard, Hans, and Chris’s family at Claim Jumpers
- Two hour wait
- random wandering, everywhere’s closed
- Chris, Craig, Richard, and Hans getting stuck in the elevator at CompUSA
- Hans: “the emergency button got stuck on my beltloop” hahaha
- treated to a very nice dinner by Chris’s family… I’m forever gracious
- CJ Mac & Cheese, CJ Baked Potato, haha
- the most flavorful of all steaks
- fun times on the streets at night
- watching Pomona jazz band on tape, with Craig’s wonderful Latin percussion
- hanging out with the Daryl
- Sebastian: “You sad face!”
- Sega Genesis, whoo
- old Mortal Kombat with all 7 characters to geeze from and retarded special moves
- old-school WWF wrestling game
- Hockey ’93-style, with random penalties
- Street Fighter II, whoo
- Is Vega the inspiration for Voldo?
- Sagat victory pose — AHAHAHA
- listening to Sisqo, Beatles, old 90’s music — Oasis
- Josh’s birthday party!
- being the one new person to confirm the existence of Kim
- seeing Josh, Craig, Shane, Jenna, and Christy for the first time in a while
- Abbot and Costello
- crazy four-way video game action — holy crap, if only Bridget wasn’t a man!
- SNK vs. Capcom — Army of whores vs. normal people… Shane’s scantily clad women, and my scantily clad fat ugly men (Zangief, E. Honda, and Blanka — Sagat later replacing Zangief)
- Shane and I having complaints of characters wearing too much clothes, etc. — “I meant to lose, just so I could see that”
- Taiko Drummer — that game is so cute
- You Don’t Know Jack
- Family Guy — finally, some episodes I haven’t seen — “… and a little more shut the hell up!”
- Exploratorium! … with Richard, Chris, Liz, and Nisha
- Seeing crazy outside structure that I didn’t know was there before
- too many little kids
- getting usurped at the bubbles station
- hanging out at a mall in SF with Chris, Liz, and Nisha
- deciding on buying a pocketwatch, but not finding a suitable one
- browsing gigantic Borders with a card shop, seeing some interesting book sections with Nisha
- watching The Office… funny stuff, new favorite show
- going to Bonfair to buy cards seeing Orion
- shop owner just sucking on spoon, not telling us if they’re actually open or not, then lying by saying they don’t sell cards
- loitering next to the no loitering sign and seeing Ian, JJ, Wally, and someone from Ian’s band show up randomly, bumping some crazy music, JJ dancing out the window
- winning a non-money poker game
- miniature golfing with Sonja
- seeing band show at Davin’s house with Ryan, Sonja, and Chris
- wow, Davin got hella good at drums and hella skinny
- saw some crazy good pianist, wow, I wish I was that good, but without all the work
- went to Jason’s house
- Jason was a horrible host, especially since he told me to come over quickly and that Jared was over (did see Jared)
- playing “If I Ain’t Got You” at Jason’s house
- watched The Apprentice for the second week in a row… that hasn’t happened in a long time
- almost broke a yearly tradition of making Ridiculously Easy games on April Fools’ Day, but didn’t, that was year 5
- almost broke my hanging out streak, but picked up Clement and Aaron from the airport
- hung out at their house, played Melee
- fun times fighting in that bottom section of that one large map (yeah, real specific)… I got Kirby up to 400 damage!
- putting up with the ol’ “we have to go now…” “okay, I’m ready to go…” “blah blah blah blah blah” don’t leave for another hour
- seeing Sin City with Aaron and Clement
- sorry for waitlisting Craig and Josh
- Sin City is crazy good… that totally made up for the waste of money entitled The Ring Two
- seeing random Moreau people once more, you can’t get away from them… saw Al, and also saw Jason out on a date, ooooohhhh, how cute
- still can’t escape them… sat through the credits, and Ali works at the theater, hope he had fun cleaning up, hahahaha
- went to pick up my sister and her friend at Borders
- and yup, “Uh oh, I better pretend to talk on my cell phone so I won’t have to acknowledge this person I know…” — I saw Will there
- bumped Chinese pop in the car, despite the protests of Aaron
- didn’t get to end my night with FMA because it got eated up by DST
- watched FMA up to almost episode 40
- I’ve learned “If I Ain’t Got You” pretty well… too bad I can’t sing
- back in the weblog groove
- no psycho-ward updates, except for Ridiculously Easy Game
- I now know how to get to Ryan’s, Chris’s, Richard’s, Daryl’s, and Ian’s houses by memory
- not as much poker as expected
Coming: College listlog… still waiting on one college, the one I want to go to most: Yale
Check out my latest Ridiculously Easy Game: The Right Choice. This is definitely the longest running tradition I’ve ever had. This’ll be the 5th year I’ve done it. Isn’t that amazing? (It’s only amazing if you’re as young as I am.)
Oh yeah, and speaking of young… my dog’s birthday was yesterday… he’s 12.
SKrATchpEt: hey guess what
SCHIZO KILLER: what?
SKrATchpEt: i broke my arm snowboarding
SKrATchpEt: so now i can’t go to new orleans
SCHIZO KILLER: you’re typing rather quickly
SKrATchpEt: am i…..
SKrATchpEt: i can still move my fingers pretty well
SKrATchpEt: it’s my arm that;s broken
SCHIZO KILLER: which arm?
SKrATchpEt: shut up…..you ruin my april fools
The Agnoiologist recently talked to a spammer and asked him what the fuck he was thinking. He’s a really smooth talker, and I realized I was being an idiot complaining about the spamming problem: If you can’t beat’em, join’em.
You webloggers will never defeat the comment spammers! Stop the fight! Join the dark side!
I am turning things over to him. To expediate things, the comment spam will simply become weblog entries. It’s much simpler this way and saves both of us a lot of headache.
So, guys, this is me signing off from the Agnoiologist permanently… and I leave you with my final words of wisdom: Buy Viagra.