Welcome to this month’s Out of Context Awards. These past couple of months have been fairly lacking in quotes, but fear not, this month brings more candidates than any other month.
In fourth place… “It says outrageous mother!”
Alvin, a sophomore saxophonist, notices this on some piece of sheet music. However, he notices this while Mr. Newton is talking. Inevitably, he is shut up. He can receive a talking pass in February.
In third place… “… it goes up your nose and melts all your boogers.”
This phrase uttered by my cousin Aaron. Only catching the tail-end of the conversation, that’s all I hear. Turns out, Shannon, my sister, and him were talking about sinuses and how various things can clear them. Aaron mentions our grandmother’s soup and then, there you go, quote.
In second place… “You race him, and I’ll be the bookie for the cripple race.”
I say this to Jason via IM. Mr. Newton broke his ankle while eating spaghetti (don’t ask). Jason had knee surgery. For a bit more context:
schizo killer: Mr. Newton made a crack about racing you up the stairs
BuRniNgCiGar: that’s gay
BuRniNgCiGar: i will beat him
BuRniNgCiGar: up the stairs
BuRniNgCiGar: i can limp around now
BuRniNgCiGar: he still needs a fuckign weelchair
And the winner… “Robert lost my pants.”
The context for this one is just as funny. I’m with a group of friends at Great America, on a water ride. I’m in one boat with some people, and the others are on the boat floating behind us. As we’re being pulled up this conveyor belt, somehow Robert gets this brilliant idea. He throws Lindsay’s shorts (an extra pair, evidently) up towards our boat. It goes up and… lands halfway in between us. It’s dragged down into the water and hasn’t been seen since.