Facebook recently added a new feature that allows you to put your “status.” That is, you can leave a note telling people that you are “at home” or “at the library” or “in class”. Or, you can put something custom. At first, I thought this was a rather creepy new feature. I elected to put “none of your goddamned business” as my status. Now, I’m positively enamoured because of all the hilarious things people put. It’s the greatest invention of its kind since the AIM profile. It’s a bizarre little window into a slice of life. It could be what the person is feeling, what they’re doing, or something clever. What makes it great is its brevity. Just one little thing in there, and people can find out what’s happening to you at the moment. They’re so fun to browse. I’m not sure quite how to why I think they’re so great… but in aggregate, they acquire some kind of artistic quality… Facebook pointillism, that’s what it is. So, here’s a sample of what some of my facebook “friends” are doing… and myself at the top:

• You are waiting for Godot…
• Daryl is a cute little boy.
• Ryan is punching killer bees.
• Andrew is diet pepsi.
• Kate is pissed off that my internet isn’t working and am hijacking the roomie’s computer without her consent.
• Clara is in a dryer.
• Laura is %&*#(*@&*#*&*#!!!!!!
• Amy is making out with haribo gummibearz.
• Wade is Trying to avoid homework.
• Ashley is dreaming in japanese.
• Ying is agonizing over which shoes to wear: the green flip flops…or the brown flip flops?
• Lingsheng is going to hurt/kill someone.
• Paige is workin on a paper <3.
• Alex is round the way, parlayin’ on the regular.
• Ashley is weirded out by this new feature.
• Nicole is mobilizing rebel forces.
• Matt is Batman.
• Jude is not going to like this week at all.
• James is a Native American.
• Kendra is rolling around on the sidewalk.
• Michael is making Kool-aid. Oh Yeah.
• Eric is so good…damn.
• Heather is internally conflicted.
• Yessen is fucking some insatiable hopkins whore for almost an hour and she keeps yelling more and more! WTF?
• Grace is unproductive.
• Tym is mooing…
• Gloria is kung fu fighting!!
• Ryan is indeterminant.
• Khang is actually just a figment of your imagination.
• Ben is somewhere you’ll never reach.
• Daniel is coked out.
• Vikram is your mom.
• Jeff is facebook is getting creepy.
• Marcus is back home :(.
• Ingrid is …Oh Good God! – it’s 1984 – Big Brother/Facebook. The two are synonymous!
• Charlie is still breathing!
• Nick is masturbating.
• Ethan is At Beta apreciation week.
• Stevie is your MOM.
• Ben is with your mom.
• Nicole is doing victoria.
• Cassie is in your closet.
• Jessica is dancing. Duh.