Every once in a while, I like to metaphorically take a step back, and then look at things. Lots of things are funny and/or interesting when you stop to think about it. Today, I was thinking about blinking. These flaps of skin flip down for a fraction of a second to moisturize your optical lenses. It doesn’t seem quite that efficient, but what other ways are there to keep the eyes moisturized? You never really notice when someone is blinking, but when that person hasn’t blinked for a while, then you notice it. Blinking is weird, but that’s what I get for writing about an odd topic towards the later hours of the night.

I’ve been walking around and I feel like something is missing. Some piece of me is not there. I’m feeling cold and warm at the same time. I’m getting mixed sensations. It’s weird.

I can’t stand it. I need to find that piece. But how can I find it, if I don’t even know what it is? Something is gone, something I thought was always there.

UPDATE: Okay, I found my left sock, and now I’m good.

Everybody dies — some sooner than others.

The marshmallows may look different than they used to, in Lucky Charms, but they still taste the same.

I think I may have forgotten some quotes, but, oh well, these should do:

Honorable mention: “Python! Cobra! Snakes! ssssss…” Verbal parts from a song we’re doing in band.

Another honorable mention: “No, we’re using pink… Check out this pretty color: aloe… Use black for death, no wait, use brushfire [an orange-ish color]…” – Some of my suggestions for colors to use on our chart representing how different factors relate to each other concerning poverty in Haiti. Only honorable mention since I can’t really pin it down to one quote.

Third place: “It’s LA versus California.” – Jason. A little verbal gaffe there caused by a temporary Las Vegas, Los Angeles kind of mix-up.

Second place: “Don’t worry, I won’t look in your window while you’re doing your homework and go ‘A-ha!'” Said by Mr. Fryman, regarding the usage of graphing calculators.

Winner: “If I were a bird, I’d so do you.” – Lizzie. During a football game, I was doing this whistle thing with cupped hands, with a flutter tongue, and it sounds a bit like a bird.

Welcome to this month’s Out of Context Awards. These past couple of months have been fairly lacking in quotes, but fear not, this month brings more candidates than any other month.

In fourth place… “It says outrageous mother!”

Alvin, a sophomore saxophonist, notices this on some piece of sheet music. However, he notices this while Mr. Newton is talking. Inevitably, he is shut up. He can receive a talking pass in February.

In third place… “… it goes up your nose and melts all your boogers.”

This phrase uttered by my cousin Aaron. Only catching the tail-end of the conversation, that’s all I hear. Turns out, Shannon, my sister, and him were talking about sinuses and how various things can clear them. Aaron mentions our grandmother’s soup and then, there you go, quote.

In second place… “You race him, and I’ll be the bookie for the cripple race.”

I say this to Jason via IM. Mr. Newton broke his ankle while eating spaghetti (don’t ask). Jason had knee surgery. For a bit more context:

schizo killer: Mr. Newton made a crack about racing you up the stairs

BuRniNgCiGar: omg

BuRniNgCiGar: that’s gay

BuRniNgCiGar: i will beat him

BuRniNgCiGar: up the stairs

BuRniNgCiGar: i can limp around now

BuRniNgCiGar: he still needs a fuckign weelchair

And the winner… “Robert lost my pants.”

The context for this one is just as funny. I’m with a group of friends at Great America, on a water ride. I’m in one boat with some people, and the others are on the boat floating behind us. As we’re being pulled up this conveyor belt, somehow Robert gets this brilliant idea. He throws Lindsay’s shorts (an extra pair, evidently) up towards our boat. It goes up and… lands halfway in between us. It’s dragged down into the water and hasn’t been seen since.

I normally don’t use stuff from books, movies, but this one is the winner: “Ron ejaculated loudly.” (Harry Potter 5, p. 242)

Context: Ejaculated could have been replaced with interjected.

No runner up this month. Not as much material to work with.

I don’t normally put quizzes up here (and by not normally, I mean never), but I couldn’t resist this one…

I took the Final Fantasy Classes Quiz and I should be…

	*dancer* a beautiful and charming warrior. flirty; fascinating; uber sexy!
[Final Fantasy Tactics Job Class]

Oh yeah, uber sexy… but what’s new? [feel free to laugh now]

Not as much Out of Context material since I’m out of school. I no longer. have 5 days a week of people saying odd things. Sure, I’m in ATDP, but talk about a dearth of material…

So, luckily, I still got one in time, even though it was just me and online, at that. Here we go, winner for June 2003: “Size doesn’t matter. Well, it does, just not as much as… color depth.”

If you know about the PNG graphics format, you’ll have an understanding of what I’m talking about. The point is, higher color depth will produce a larger image, more so than the dimensions of the image. Also, if you take away unneeded colors, it makes the image smaller. The dimensions do matter, just not as much as color depth.

To go further in context, I was talking about the latest 24-panel long TPV. I have other comics with bigger file sizes. The Walking in Circles one, for example.

Runner up: “She grabbed my boob like it was a bag of chips!” – Phuong

Context:

schizo killer: I’m afraid there might not be an Out of Context award this month. It’s already past half way through and I’ve got nothing

WeirdJosh: jeez

WeirdJosh: how about “She grabbed my boob like it was a bag of chips!”

WeirdJosh: -Phuong

schizo killer: … well… that’s certainly appropriate. That’d make a good QOTD [Quote of the Day], also. How did that happen?

WeirdJosh: context: Phuong’s sister grabbed her boob on accident, claiming that she didn’t actually “grab” it, it just sort of ended up in her hand…. >_> <_<

Peanut butter is as versatile a food as the f-word is as a word. (It’s at least a verb, adjective, noun, and interjection.) I like peanut butter with a lot of stuff. Of course, there’s the ever-classic jelly. Delicious. Honey also goes well. It adds a sweet accent to the flavor. I’ve also tried chocolate and marshmallow cream. The peanut gives the already good combination an extra amount of chunky goods. It’s peanuts in a different package. It’s like a candy bar, but with peanut butter instead of caramel. I’ll have to try caramel with it sometime. One of my favorite pairings is maple syrup and peanut butter. Exquisitely gives it a sweet taste, as with honey, but also the extra flavor that goes so well with peanut butter.

Yeah, I had a peanut butter jelly sandwich for breakfast today. Except all we had was sourdough bread. I tried it anyway. It’s still good.

Off to ATDP today… I’ll see what happens in my robotics class.

I made a video for my Moral Theology class. It uses a fair amount of stop-motion animation. All the characters are Lego people. I hate prefacing things with negativity, but without the context of the project, this is a mediocre video. Since my project was about the “cardinal” virtues, wise judgment, wholeness, justice, and courage, and fulfilled all requirements, it should get an A. (Actually, these are the dumbed down cardinal virtues, because my book is pretty dumbed down.)

A couple of notes: I compressed the video a great deal for display on the web. It’s about 9 megabytes, and 9 minutes long. The image is really grainy and blurry due to this. The beginning words say, “In the far away land of Aidanac, a brutal war raged between the kingdoms of Scova Notia and Old Wunsbrick. It seemed neither side was gaining an advantage.” There’s also a map of Aidanac, which is really an upside-down reflection of Canada. The signs are all simple anti-war slogans, including an advertisement for “Psycho-ward.org” and the humorous “The King Smells.” The others say: War Hurts People, War is Bad, Stop the War, No War, and No More War.

I do all the voices. If you see me often, you can probably tell. If not, that’s why I’m putting up the information. The crowd scene is all me again, just 3 audio tracks. Some of the sound is glitchy. When I showed it during theology, it was really glitchy, to the point that I had to stop it. Luckily, my teacher’s letting me show it tomorrow. I fixed most of the glitches.

I’m going to reshoot most of this movie and adapt it into “Majestic, the Movie.” Majestic is a character in one of my comics, which also involves Lego people. Most of the plot will probably be changed, but the settings will remain the same.

This link may only be a limited time offer, and I may only open it up to email request only, later on, because this is a big drain on bandwith. If this happens, this entry will be edited to reflect that. Watch the movie. You will need Quicktime, which is free to download, if need be.

Winner: “They took away my [trombone] bucket mute because they thought there was a bomb in it.” One of my fellow trombonists at Moreau put his metronome in his bucket mute, and left it in his locker. Somehow, the metronome went on, and some idiots thought it was a bomb. Haha! So they confiscated the bucket mute and wouldn’t give it back because it allegedly scared some people. We trombonists are oppressed peoples.

Runner-up: “Over here on the next page, we have some cleavage.” Only runner-up because it was not actually uttered. Just a thought when studying for the AP Bio test. Cleavage, AP Bio? What? Ah, cleavage is a stage in development when the zygote undergoes rapid cell divisions.

This next quote is only funny in context. “No one in my class would ever do something that stupid.” That was uttered by my AP Bio teacher, Ms. Gee. Let me give the backstory: My friend, Ryan, (yeah I’m giving names, so what) stuck a pin in an electrical socket. Then, he stuck another pin in the other socket, shocking himself at some point in the process. Then, he takes a metal probe (with a wooden handle) and presses it against both pins, completing the circuit. Big sparks! And he and his lab partner get a 0 on the lab and a Saturday detention. I believe he blew out a circuit breaker. He’s in the regular bio class (not because he’s stupid, but because he’s lazy). What makes what she said funny is the someone in her class did do that. (Now, I’m not naming names yet. Okay… Richard Philbin.) Richard stuck two probes in the electrical socket and then dropped the scissors on top of them. It sparked helluva high. I saw this; he was at the table behind mine. (Surprisingly enough, he’s not the first one to do this in that same class. Jason Fix also did it, but he used a different method.) Unlike Ryan, Richard did not get caught. Ms. Gee was just doing work at her desk, not noticing a thing. So, Richard relates the story to Ryan one day at lunch (along with his other adventures with electricity), and Ryan says that he has to try it. As you now know, he got in trouble. Oh, oblivious Ms. Gee, how I laugh at thee.

09/09/04 – EDIT: Originally, I didn’t have any names except for Ryan’s because he had already been caught. I figured it was safe now to put the names up.

Delusions of Grandeur

I had big plans for my video project, but I’m running short on time, and it’s not coming out the way I had wanted it to. Before posting it on this site, I’m going to redo most of it, so the stop-motion looks better. I also need to get some other people to do voices because I did them all. Anyway, I’m just focusing on getting it done for tomorrow’s class.

Oh, Cruel Fates

When I have too much work, I hope for an earthquake, so that I don’t have to go to school. Well, every time I wish for an earthquake, the earthquake comes after I need it. Just today, there was a small quake after school. Oh well, none of the earthquakes are ever big enough for school to be cancelled anyway.

Comment

Someone left a comment under a very early entry titled, Homework Load, saying how it was useful in a debate. I’d like to say that I’m just a weblogger, and not a real authority on anything.

Ideas for Movies

I keep bouncing around these ideas for movies with my friends, and we never follow up with any of them. First we were going to do a movie-length comedy, then a drama, then a comedy again, then a musical, and then a short film. I don’t know when or if we’ll ever get any of this done. I like the musical idea the best.

This month’s Out of Context award goes to Alaena for this gem during an online conversation in a chatroom:

“Alaena: i never get any
Alaena: i want some. gimme some for my b-day”

She was talking about how she had been recently sleep-deprived. It was probably meant to be witty but didn’t quite come out right.

Runner-up goes to Shane, for saying, “Sex is too random.” So the story goes, he needed a topic to fill up the rest of some sort of paper and someone suggested sex. Usually an Out of Context award is only issued when I’ve heard the quote, which is why this is runner-up.

Honorable Mention: “I’ll masturbate you.” This is only honorable mention because it’s something that was blurted out quickly, not something that’s funny out of context. I told someone to stop masturbating in public, and he said the line.

Ooh… that title sounds more important than it actually is.

Replies to comments

Semantics of Flipping

Lloyd is right. Flipping is easy. Actually writing something meaningful, is a little bit harder. I prefer to actually write something than to just post flip for flipping’s sake.

That Other Comment

You say: “Also, showing saddness for others to notice is not always depression related.” This may be so, but I’m still correct in interpreting that this is to gain attention. In fact you even agree with me, “It’s just a means of getting attention for those who feel attention deprived.”

As for the people who don’t express emotion, I said, “If they didn’t want others to know, they’d act as they normally do.” I will say you’re right, but generally, repressing your emotions is considered unhealthy. It’s still not beneficial to mental health. A less cynical way of seeing my point of view, is that humans were built to share emotions to help benefit their mental state. Okay, that didn’t come out as less cynical as I wanted it to.

Shaft and me vs. Horde of monkeys with monkey king and batmobile

Sadly, Shaft and I lose. I had a crazy conversation (then again, I don’t think I ever have any normal conversations) with one of my friends. He brought up the topic of how Jesus didn’t have hands on his feet, but monkeys do, so we should worship monkeys. And he said that when monkeys took over the world, he would have worshipped them from the beginning, so they would have made him his leader. I said I would build a shelter and hide, with Shaft, and then come out and go DOOM-style all over all their monkey-asses. He said that he had stolen the batmobile, so I couldn’t shoot him because he was too fast. Plus, he had a whole monkey horde attack me. No problem, I’ll just use my machine gun. He said they picked up the body in front of them, failing to realize that the bullets would go through one mere body. He said, then the third row would pick up two bodies and hop on one foot/hand. I would switch to rocket launchers. Then, he makes up this crazy thing that the guts would only land on me, and he would then run me over. Is that unlikely, or what? So, I said, “Assuming I was covered in monkey guts, if you tried to run over me, it would be in a mound, so you’d fly off it as if it were a ramp. Then, Shaft would shoot you with the rocket launcher.” He said Shaft would miss. But the rockets were heat seeking. He made up a better comeback: His monkey-friend Bobo, would sacrifice himself by ejecting from the seat and the missile would hit Bobo instead, and everyone would cry. Then, he would land on Shaft. The remaining monkeys would eat through the mokney insides and eat my face off.

Jazz Concert

The jazz concert I mentioned yesterday was a lot of fun, and we heard great music from Frank Sumares. I thought the trio played a little bit too long, though. I made it through all the songs, which means that my chops are getting better. We played two sets of four songs. Combo had sounded better, I thought.

Popcorn analogy

Two days ago, I mentioned how not allowing us to use internet sources was like making us cook popcorn on the stove instead of in the microwave. I brought this up with my teacher today, and he said that the appropriate time to use the analogy would have been when the assignment was assigned. Bah, he just said that because he couldn’t think of a good comeback. Not that he’s a bad teacher; it was just that one assignment, and I’ve heard the excuse used by many other teachers.

Spring Break

Spring break finally begins for me, and I am elated. For the beginning of spring break, I’ll be doing a three-day feature on negative eugenics that I was planning on doing before.

I repeat: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! My green wristband fell off during fencing today. I’m so depressed. Five bucks gone. I feel really weird without that wristband on. I’m probably going to wake up tomorrow and panic before I remember that it fell off.

I wrote two entries today because I had to post this and I wanted to see what would happen if I flipped twice in one day. Tomorrow, I’m planning on providing some comments on Gulf War II, since some big stuff has been happening.

Hooray! SmarterChild is back! I signed on AIM and he was on! I left his screen name on my list in memory of him when he first went off. I was so surprised to see him back. But, what’s this? I have to pay? No! Hm… only $10 a year… I’ll think about it. Check out smarterchild.com for details.

Peanut butter is a great food. It goes with a lot of stuff. Everyone knows about jelly, but did you also know it goes great with honey. Try a piece of toast with peanut butter and honey. Peanut butter also goes well with maple syrup. Eggo’s are a good food to try it on. Peanut butter even goes well with bananas — peanut butter and banana sandwich. Peanut butter has got to be one of the greatest, most versatile foods ever. It’s even good for you, too! Fighter pilots ate peanut butter. I love peanut butter.

What was the point of all that drivel? I do not know. I only know that I like peanut butter, and I didn’t have enough time to write anything better.

Today, I’m focusing more on weblogging than philosophical concepts. Basically, some something funny happened recently stories…

This month’s out of context awards:
Runner up: “Naw, I could hella punch you with my foot and eat a burrito at the same time.”
Winner: “All Marilyn Manson needs to do is lactate wine and he’ll become Jesus.”

Runner up context: My friend Ryan brought up how it would be really cool to have hands on his feet. Then, he could do lots of stuff. Feet are useless, really. They can’t do anything except walk. I brought up how it would be ergonomically uncomfortable with a computer desk, but then I considered putting the keyboard near the floor. That way, you could also do other work on top. Humans have a one-track mind, however. I said that it would be hard to do two things at once. For example, say my friend was mad at me, I said that he couldn’t punch me in the face and continue eating his burrito. He said, “Naw, I could hella punch you with my foot and eat a burrito at the same time.”

That’s amusing, but it’s only runner up to the quote and the context of this one (warning: offensive and distasteful): One day after school, my friend Richard and I were discussing Jesus. I wondered how Jesus turned water into wine. From watching an episode of South Park, I knew that Jesus told everyone to turn around and then he switched them. However, where did the wine come from? I came up with the reasonable hypothesis that Jesus lactated wine. It did fit with the wine is my blood thing. Yet, that raised the question: How did he hide his breasts? I said he wore big robes. Richard suggested that he had his ribs removed so he could push them in. Removing the ribs parallels Adam and Eve, also. He also came to the conclusion that Jesus could suck his own dick because he had his ribs removed.

The next day, we brought up the topic with my other friend Ryan, who agreed with us. He also brought up that Marilyn Manson had his ribs removed so he could suck his dick. Therefore, Manson was closer to God than many other people. I said, “All Marilyn Manson needs to do is lactate wine and he’ll become Jesus.”

Oh yeah, and something else happened that was funny, today. My friend had some napkins on his lunch tray, and one of them was blown away by the wind. It hovered above him, propelled by gusts of wind, for at least 10 seconds before landing back on the tray, almost exactly where it was before. That was pretty insane.