Daily Archives: September 12, 2012

How to Get Rid of a Wasp, Part II

(continued from Part I)

11. Procure water bottle from car and duct tape from closet.
12. Create wasp trap and bait it with a concoction that will kill the wasp.
13. Realize that the attempted poison has one ingredient that smells too strong. The laundry soap overpowers the sugar.
14. Say “Oh well fuck it” and put the trap on the windowsill.
15. Wait.
16. Empty out trap.
17. Wash trap thoroughly.
18. Really thoroughly.
19. Try baiting with sugar and water.
20. Wait.
21. Check trap, find it still empty.
22. Search entire room for wasp. This search is futile, of course.
OPTIONAL: Over the course of the day, find a bunch of moths in the rice and a spider in the couch, but still no fucking wasp.
23. Make educated guess that wasp is hiding inside the top bar of the blinds.
24. Sleep in guest bedroom instead of dealing with ninja wasp.
25. Toss and turn because futon is way less comfy than Ikea bed.
26. Think about baiting trap with something new, but don’t, because today was really frustrating and ugh who wants to deal with a stupid wasp.
27. Have girlfriend bang on wasp hiding spot with screwdriver to the flush the wasp out, but it still decides not to grace us with its presence.
28. Question sanity.
29. Sleep in normal room, expecting to find wasp on face in the morning.

To be continued…